Hugo Ekitike to Liverpool then! Here we go and all that.
Listen, let me be the first to throw up a hand in apology. It's pre-season, I was giddy on sunshine and a bountiful helping of Fabrizio Roman-ian style transfer juice and I may have gotten a little carried away in my last article. We've all read Detective books and seen Detective TV shows right? Well the days of Sherlock Holmes and err… Colombo nailing it the first time, based on little more than circumstantial evidence and gut instinct are no more. Nowadays, they always get the first hypothesis wrong, it helps add to the drama of the narrative. Even the finest Squad Sleuthing minds of our generation get things wrong from time to time.
It's my own fault really, I allowed myself to get swept up in the rumour and conjecture, pulling on a thread of truth and spinning it into a full blown blanket of blissful transfer delusion. Loads of fun when it turns out to be right, it’s even a little fun if it ends up being complete bollocks. Today though, we sit somewhere in the middle.
You see, I had talked myself into a world of Alexander Isak, a world of glorious red dominance with a silky, born and bred goalscorer up front. I have allowed myself to watch his highlight reels (that goal against us at St James’- ooof!), and to daydream about how he’ll fit splendidly into the line of succession that runs from Hunt to Rush to Fowler to Torres. A great goalscoring number 9 back at Anfield! Boy oh boy!
When I did my pre-season predictions however, it appears that there was a gapingly obvious trope which I forgot to address. “Getting sweet on a rumoured player, then getting annoyed when it turns out to have been just a rumour.”
I call this Gaston Ramirez syndrome. You might know it by another name, perhaps Nabil Fekir-itis?
A friend of mine once said “Klass-Jan Huntelaar is available this summer and if Liverpool don't get him i'll be fucking furious”.
Fucking Furious!
And that was over a transfer that he had basically made up himself!
So yeah, Gaston Ramirez. Those of you who can remember the dim and distant past of 2012 should hear a tiny bell ringing in the back of your mind here. Liverpool had been heavily linked with the Uruguayan all summer, to the point where, as is now commonplace but back then was pretty new territory, twitter was awash with super convincing sounding updates. A medical was booked, it was claimed, for the next day, then the next, then the next. 2012 was a funny old summer at Liverpool, and especially so for the world of fan media. Most notably, Brendan Rodgers came in to replace Kenny Dalglish, but the Reds also brought in Jen Chang in a communications role at the club. His ultimate demise at the Anfield has become the stuff of legend, but at the time he had made it his mission to engage with the rising tide of fan tv, podcasts and vlogs. After a side briefing following a pre-season tour presser, he basically said, “If you behave like journalists, I'll treat you like journalists.”
Cool.
With the Ramirez rumour abounding, that seemed as good a place as any to test the waters on this new found line of communication. “Are Liverpool signing Gaston Ramirez?” I asked.
“I can categorically tell you that Liverpool are not signing Gaston Ramirez.”
Cool.
I have to be honest, I was still sceptical. The twitter reports had been so authoritative that it seemed ridiculous that there wasn't at least something to it. But no, the word was official.
So, with some trepidation I put my new cast iron info out into the world, via Redmen TV's YouTube and Twitter. You'd have thought people would be happy for clarification, for the truth. After all, why waste time and energy on nonsense speculation? Again, i’ll remind you that this was a naive time before the rise of Romano, the birth of the professional ITK and transfer rumours as an online industry.
So yeah, the truth was out there.
People were fucking furious!
OKAY, SO THEY AREN'T SIGNING HIM. WHY AREN’T THEY SIGNING HIM?! WE NEED SIGNINGS!
You see, people as a rule just love transfers, we have been conditioned to see them as a be all and end all portent of future success and failure. This was not Liverpool using their judgement and possibly dodging a bullet, it was a sign of potential transfer negligence instead. We're the club so stupid that they hasn't even noticed this clear open goal of a move before them???
In hindsight, of course not.
Ramirez had a decent career all in all, but I'm willing to bet you’d forgotten he existed. Or at best had him buried in your Obscure Premier League Players brain folder, right next to Alex Hleb and Jeremie Aliadiere. Ready and waiting for the next Barclaysmen trend to arise.
A little known Gaston fact before we let him slide back into the netherrealm of obscure footballers. He was born in the city of Fray Bentos. I always just thought the pies were named after a fella or something…
Anyhoo, I feel a little like this over Ekitike. The excitement, not the pies. (Although a Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney is a God Tier creation). I've allowed myself to get so swept away with the idea of Isak, that it has in turn pre-shadowed a move for another really good footballer. Word on the grapevine is that Liverpool feel the same. The move for Isak it transpires, was far more of an exploratory probe than a full blown transfer onslaught. A “you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take” effort if you will. So Newcastle’s move for Ekitike could possibly have been legit, and Liverpool’s interest might not have been just a retaliatory smokescreen to get the Geordies to loosen their grip on the Swede.
If Hugo Ekitike is a smokescreen, a transfer bargaining poker chip, then Liverpool are taking their bluff all the way to the bitter end. Or they don't understand how bluffing works. Or, hey, maybe they actually really want the lad.
I've been quite public in saying that I felt Ekitike was perhaps a season undercooked to be making a move of this scale. Isak felt like the sure thing, Ekitike more of a gamble. The example I've been using is City signing Haaland and Liverpool signing Darwin.
It's big money and there's a bubbling undercurrent of criticism towards him already. An “Ekitike's Last 20 Shots” reaction video cropped up in my Instagram feed. There's already a slew of rival fans (especially schadenfreude seeking Geordies) quoting his career goal return. But melts abound, and in the blue tick era, toxic banter media is king. Dickheads gonna dickhead.
In time they may well be proven right. In time, so might my early take. But let's be clear, from my perspective, I don't want to be right, and I will certainly take no pleasure if I am. Because ultimately (and perhaps slightly existentially) who am I, and who gives a shit what I think?
Right, negativity expunged. Let’s press on…
Deep breath. Shoulders back. Broad smile.
Liverpool have signed a new forward for £69m!!
Proof that Richard Hughes has not slowed in his ambition to refresh Arne Slot's side and also that he is much more mature than I would be with the final choice of fee. I personally would have been too busy giggling, muttering “sixty-nine” and poking the person next to me in the ribs to actually complete the deal.
For godssake, Fortnite announced a collab with Marvel this week for “Fantastic Four Skins” and I haven't stopped giggling like a tit ever since. Yes, I am 42 year old father of two, why do you ask?
Anyway, composure. Maturity. Analysis.
It's worth saying that I have no doubts over his ability, the fella is the business, it's more over whether he's ready today.
Yes, my underlying transfer anxiety absolutely comes from three years of watching (and defending) Darwin Nunez. It's also worth saying though, and bear with me for this shocking revelation…
Hugo Ekitike is a totally different player and person to Darwin Nunez.
Like, 100% not him.
He's also being signed by a different regime. We'll never truly know what the process behind Darwin's recruitment was, coming as it did at the zenith of Klopp (and Lijnders) influence, after we'd played Benfica in Europe, and during the first (and only) summer transfer window with Julian Ward at the D.O.F helm. Shades of Brendan Rodgers falling in love with perpetual thorn in his side, Christian Benteke? Maybe. It doesn't really matter though, because it's a new day at Liverpool. Data is back in a big way. With Michael Edwards pulling the strings from atop the FSG tower, the laptops are back en vogue at the AXA.
Darwin's numbers at Benfica were much more eye-catching than Ekitike's at Frankfurt, sure, but they were also much more eye-catching than Firmino’s were at Hoffenheim. The lesson, if there is one, is that mentality and fit are not qualities easily picked up in top line analysis, and certainly not by banter melts on Instagram. Hugo Ekitike is clearly the one (or one of the ones), for Slot. Would Bobby Firmino have become a Liverpool legend under Rodgers? Could Darwin have continued his upwards trend under Jurgen? Maybe, maybe not. But having the trust of a manager helps, big time.
At this level it's worth remembering that there are no truly bad players. If you want concise, consistent and frankly, fucking hilarious proof of this, look at the laundry list of Man United players lambasted and written off at Old Trafford (and by Insta melts) only to flourish upon departure. Antony bossed it at Betis, McTominay nailed it in Naples. Marcus Rashford, having revitalised at Villa, is about to sign for Barcelona for christ sakes! (Become… a baller… for Barca?).
Hugo Ekitike then.
Hughes wants him, and Arne Slot has apparently given him the same tactical masterplan treatment as Wirtz. So what are we getting?
Fun. I reckon.
Great on the ball, awkward for defenders, unpredictable. A player who will happily get on the ball anywhere in the opposition half and change the landscape with dribbling or by bringing others into play. And at the risk of sounding like I'm trying to downplay it, a goal threat as well.
(Domestic League Season Heatmaps, from LEFT TO RIGHT: Isak, Ekitike, Haaland)
At 23 there is also an awful lot of room for him to grow too.
Having binge watched his youtube highlights, my EDM pickled brain might be playing tricks, but you know who he reminds me of?
Freddie Kanouté.
You get me right? Right?
Now, that comparison might not be as dynamic as this fabulous Xabi Alonso quote on Wirtz:
“Why is Messi so good? Because he knows how and when to play simple. It's not always about making the most brilliant move, but the best and the smartest. Florian can do that. That's what makes him so special.”
Great that innit? Anyway, yeah it might sound a far cry from me comparing Liverpool's new £69m (chortle) centre forward to a lad who played for West Ham, but you get it right? Right?
No? Well for those of you who aren’t late 90's/early2000's footy hipsters, let me tell you. Frédéric Kanouté was, in the parlance of the youth, a fucking baller.
Tall (the first, most obvious comparison point), skilful, quick, and elegant, but in a gangly way. There's a lot of physical and stylistic similarities. In England, Kanouté wasn't really the “tip of the spear” type striker, but Sevilla fans might disagree, between 2006 and 2011 he was basically better than 1 in 2 striker for them. But what he was, was fast, tall and dribbly. He linked play well and scored goals. He just didn't do it for a “top side”.
Anyway before this devolves into an unscheduled Freddie Kanouté wankfest, yeah, I thought he was good and that's who he reminds me of, for what it's worth.
It is quite interesting to see the profile that Liverpool are targeting though, because for as much as the eye is clearly drawn to Isak's goal column, it is his all round brilliance that has drawn Liverpool's eye. Afterall, if we were just looking for a lad to get on the end of things, you could do a damn sight worse than Darwin, Christ, you could just lash Salah upfront and tell him to Haaland it. No Mo, I'm serious, just stand there mate…
(Domestic attacking stats for Hugo Ekitike and Alexander Isak for 24/25 offer some encouragement that there’s more to come from Ekitike as a goalscorer.)
As I said in my now much alluded to, incredibly fanciful article about us signing BOTH Isak and Ekitiké, the Reds aren't in the market for bums this summer.
Stylistically it is telling that Slot's preferred guys last season were Diogo and ultimately Diaz as the season wore on. And even in the case of Jota, whom we know was predatory enough to be an archetypal “fox in the box” he still spent a lot of time outside it, trying to knit things together. His natural instinct? Perhaps, but I don't think we get to credit Slot for his tactical acumen but then say, yeah but this one lad just did what he wanted instead of what the manager asked. So whilst we didn't see exactly what Slot may have wanted from his number 9, I feel as though we saw enough to get a flavour of it.
So anyway, yeah, Liverpool are quite clearly getting one of the men that they want, if not necessarily the one. Time will tell, but in a fluid, ever changing game lacking in absolutes, I can CATEGORICALLY say that this is not Liverpool missing out on Alexis Sanchez, shitting the bed and having to clean it up with Mario Balotelli. It's also worth remembering that there's an alternate universe out there where Liverpool's front three is Julian Brandt, Timo Werner and Mario Gotze. So in short getting your top target is boss, of course it is, but second choices can be fab too.
So yeah, my overriding sense is one of genuine positivity and excitement. My plan is to head to Japan for the second of the tour games so there's a chance I might even get to see him first hand next week, which would be class!
And just one more thing….
Liverpool wouldn't have approached Newcastle for Isak if they didn't have a sense that the player was into it, and Eddie Howe leaving him out of a pre-season game because of the speculation could well be the sign of a head being turned….
Maybe…
Before I go, a little apology for the somewhat scattergun/fever dream approach to this piece. I started it on Saturday. Got the Flu on Sunday. Flew to Italy for a family holiday with the awful remnants of that Flu on Monday and on Tuesday my daughter fell and hurt herself and ended up being taken to an A&E over an hour away (with my superhuman wife Charlie alongside her, mercifully). I've somehow managed to wrap this up in the early hours of Wednesday as a welcome distraction between calls to insurance companies and updates from the hospital. She should be okay by the way, it's just been a fraught 24 hours or so.
Additionally, thanks to everyone who has joined as a free subscriber (over 200!) and even bigger thanks to those of you who have taken the paid plunge too! Mad life crap notwithstanding I am having an absolute ball doing this, and the support makes it all the sweeter.
Cheers!
Maych